How to Walk and Chew Gum at the Same Time

By LeAnn Johnson

You've no doubt heard the expression "She can't walk and chew gum at the same time" thousands of times in your life and brushed it off as nothing. What if you really couldn't?

It may seem to be just another joke insulting someone's intelligence, but imagine the horror of not being able to walk down the street while enjoying the gum that you love so much. Not so funny when you think about it that way, now is it?

There are a few vital and often overlooked steps to consider when attempting to walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone anything else, such as communicate. A careful monitoring of these tips and a sense of confidence can get any dysfunctional chewer back on their feet, Wrigley's in hand.

Let's get started!

Footwear
The first and most important thing to consider in this dilemma is the type of footwear you are donning. Sneakers are generally your best bet. They provide both comfort and stability and will accommodate you in any sudden movements that would have otherwise been treacherous.

Vital to the success of the sneaker is your making sure that they are tied securely and their laces are not hanging down in a position where it would be possible to step on one of them with either foot. This could lead to certain disaster and inability to perform the important tasks at hand.

If you choose to be bold, or even fashionable, you may wear flip flops or even heels. NOTE: choosing one of these types of footwear can be immensely dangerous to the gum chewing walk and serious injury could result. You are responsible for such a decision and will have to live with any consequences or injuries that result after the fact. Please use care and caution.

Type of Gum
Surprisingly, they type of gum you choose to smack is also a very vital part of the process. Everyone has their own favorite, but some types may be more distracting than others when trying to accomplish this feat.

Consider sticking to more plain flavors like spearmint or wintergreen, as cinnamon or fruit-flavored types may be quite distracting. Probably the most distracting would be Bubbulicious, so try to avoid it at any cost. Again, proceed at your own risk, taking into consideration that some flavors take less effort to chew than others. Here are a few relatively safe suggestions:

• Wringley's Spearmint
• Doublemint
• Juicy Fruit
• Orbit
• Dentyne Ice

Blowing Bubbles
You must consider that blowing bubbles can also be a reckless mistake that can lead to your ultimate failure. While it’s fun to blow and pop bubbles, doing so can preoccupy a part of your brain that should be more focused on strutting your stuff with jaws a-movin'. Bubbles, if they have enough girth, can also interfere with your line of sight so you may not see obstacles that could be your demise.

Walking Surface
Now that you've chosen your footwear and your flavor of gum, let's get down to business. It’s best to try to pick a flat, straight, and generally distraction-free place to do your walking. Sidewalks work very well, but you must constantly be on the alert for large cracks, fire hydrants, and the occasional rock or derbris that are accidents waiting to happen.

Like wearing flip flops or heels to be bold, you may also try to chew your gum while walking up or down hills or across grass. Doing so requires much more attention to your surroundings and could hinder your ability to actually chew the gum.

State of Mind
Next, try your hardest to put all other thoughts and distractions out of your head and focus, instead, on chewing your gum. Continue to move your jaws in the up and down motion and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. Try not to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the outside environment because you may set yourself up for defeat.

Try to remain cool and not make your situation look too obvious, because you’ll surely fail if people know what you are trying to do. Try to act natural, but don’t let yourself get too relaxed, because you may regret it when your teeth are rubbing on the pavement. Continue your relaxed, but not too relaxed, stride as though you haven’t got a care in the world.

You may chew so that each chomp is in rhythm to each footstep, but you are almost cheating yourself by doing so. You may choose to take the safe route, but if you feel like walking on the wild silde, chew liberally; you will then feel an even greater sense of accomplishment.

Success!
If you can manage to stay on your feet for a block without a hitch, consider yourself successful. While this may seem a relatively small victory, you can no longer be told you can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. Maybe consider moving on to more difficult tasks.

Don't let anyone diss you again: congrats! Celebrate you achievement like this guy!

The Wonderful World of Chewing Gum

Here are just a few things about gum for you to ponder when preparing to be a successful "walk-and-chew-gum-at-the-same-time" kind of person.

Learn all about chewing gum.

Did you know that the phrase is the censored version of what actually originated when President Lyndon Johnson was annoyed with then-Congressman Gerald Ford and was quoted as saying Ford was "so dumb he couldn't fart and chew gum at the same time?" Obviously it wasn't one of the hot topics on the State of the Union Address and was said in private conversation.

Senator John Edwards said earlier this year, about President Bush, that, "A president has to be able to walk and chew chewing gum at the same time," in regards to Bush's preoccupation with the war on terrorism at a costly domestic expense. No love lost here!

A recent study has shown that chewing gum may actually improve memory.

Believe it or not, the old addage has actually been immortalized in song.

If you're one that insists on adding flair to your saunter, get some bubble-blowing tips from the pros.

Given a lot of time and a lot of bubble gum...

Believe it or not, Ireland is considering a gum tax to help clean up littered gum.

Did You Know?

• Swallowed gum won’t clog up your intestines, but it will be with you for a few days. Gum base can’t be digested so it will pass through your system in one piece.
• It is illegal to manufacture, import, or sell gum in Singapore.
• North American kids spend approximately half a billion dollars on bubble gum every year.
• During WWII, U.S. military personnel spread the popularity of chewing gum by trading it and giving it as gifts to people in Europe, Africa, Asia and around the world.
• The largest bubble ever blown was 23 inches in diameter. The record was set July 19, 1994 by Susan Montgomery Williams of Fresno, CA. (Guinness Book of World Records 1998)