How To Annoy Your Roommate

By Jennifer Pettitt

When the time comes to start college, one of the biggest changes is being able to be comfortable with sharing your living space with a total stranger. For the majority of us, our parents are not wealthy and they will not let you own a two story party house for yourself. Sharing a room may be tough, and you might have to make some sacrafices, but for that upcoming freshman you may need some help, you never know what type of roommate you will be getting. Thats why I bring you the page on how to annoy your roommate.

In order to do this successfully, you must do it in stages. I have outlined 3 stages, going from the least annoyance, stage 1, the medium annoyances, stage 2 and the most extreme annoyance, stage 3.

The first stage is a good way to start things off. It will not guarantee your roommate to react. She will probably not say a thing to you, but inside her head she may be thinking, "Wow she's weird!" Or you may get some fun facial expressions, the confused, "whatever" look, the one eyebrow up look and the sour squint look.

Stage 1- This is how to get your roommate angry

• Playing loud music
  Find some annoying CD in your collection and play it non-stop at the loudest level possible, it would successfully annoy your roommate but he or she has the option of leaving or turning it down.

• Rude bodily functions
  It’s more disgusting than annoying, plus some people can't help it. Your roommate may install a room air freshener or crack a window, however, this is not something that would make them move out.

• Starring at your roommate as they sleep
  Nothing like waking up to your roommate staring at you in the middle of the night, very freaky and annoying.

Starring at your roommate is a great way to scare or annoy your roommate, find some fun things to add to your outfit

Once you have successfully annoyed your roommate at the first stage, its time to move on to the second stage. This level of annoyance may start some verbal fights. Your roommate may call up her friends to complain, you are on your way!

Stage 2- This is how to get under your roommates skin

• Speaking with an annoying voice
  Start speaking with a British accent, some sort of baby talk, or even make up your own language. It's definitely not cute, or funny, it's damn right annoying!
  
• Snoring
  There is nothing worse than being awakened by a roommate who snores. It's nothing you can do you about it but knock yourself out with a hammer, or a safer way, Nyquil. Even if you don't snore, record someone who does and play it.
  
• Inviting Tons of Friends in Your Room
  Get 20 people in your small dorm room. Invite them right when your roommate decides to work on homework, have a dance party, or just stand there and talk.

an awkward standing pose party with a lot of friends is a sure way to annoy your roommate.

The final stage is, the most important. At this stage you may hear your roommate talking to their parents asking them for advice. Don't worry, you are on your way to victory! 

Stage 3- This is how to make your roommate move out

• Leaving your dirty dishes on their side of the room there is nothing like having old crusty dirty dishes in your room that can be smelled from your room to the rest of the campus.
• Flirt with your significant other when your roommate is trying to watch TV
  use baby talk and make sloppy kiss sounds right when your roommate watches their favorite TV show.
• Selling all her belongins on E-bay
  when all else fails, sell all of her belongings. Use the money for tuition or textbooks.

These were some examples of how to annoy your roommate, you may think of some on your own but I guarantee, follow these instructions and you will see the room transfer papers on your roommates desk. Congratulations!