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Dealing
With Death
How do you begin
to confront the fact that your medical condition will lead to death?
Occasionally it happens when the doctor gives you your diagnosis.
Or acknowledgment comes as energy fades and more extreme symptoms
are experienced more often. Many live for a length of time with
a fatal illness and die from slowly deteriorating conditions. One
day, however, the realization comes that death is approaching. As
tough as this may seem, it may also enable you to develop your spirit,
creating a more peaceful, meaningful time for you and others.
There is not a right or wrong way, a better or worse way, to face
death. Each of us goes through it in our own way, with our own focus.
However, below are a few possible suggestions for confronting this
trying time:
- Take care
of yourself emotionally and spiritually
Confide in someone you feel safe with regularly.
Remember most people experience feelings of aloneness, anger eventually.
Express your feelings. Cry or get mad - its part of living through
this.
- Learn
about your illness
You need an idea of what to expect.
Ask your doctor:
"How long can I basically expect, and what’s the least
time that my family anticipate?"
"What can I expect from the illness? Complications? Last
few months and/or weeks?"
These are difficult things ask and to answer. It might help to
tell your doctor what you assume and then ask to clarify and explain
in more detail.
- Prioritize
your life
Its difficult separating the significant from the slight. To discover
what’s meaningful for you, ask yourself, "If I knew
I would be gone in a week, what would be important for me to take
care of?" these things are what you need to focus on.
- Be open
with loved ones
Communicate your feelings, fears, and hopes.
Talk about your illness and the care you'll need.
Express how you feel about the challenges you’ll all be confronted
with.
Try to discuss with your loved ones your death and their grief.
It may ease their burden to know your concerned.
- Make some
specific plans for the time near death
Tend to important matters
Your work, your estate, and your responsibilities. Update your
will. If possible take care of old debts, make plans for care
for children or parents, and just make certain that some favorite
activity of yours will continue.
- Enjoy
the life you have!
Plan to do the things that matter to you.
Don't squander time or energy "keeping up appearances."
Stop worrying about medical issues.
Though this
is a difficult time for all concerned you need to spend quality
time with those you love and care about - say good-bye, express
your gratitude, share love and good memories.
SOME SITES
OF INTEREST
Partnership
for Caring - End-of-life issues, resources, and insights for
the dying
Beyond Indigo - Grief,
death, healing, and beyond
Funeral Plan.com - Funerals,
grief support, obituaries . . .
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